How Do People Find Blog Red Machine?


I know we all want to keep tabs of what could possibly happen on the free agent and trade markets, but I want to take a minute and bring a little entertainment to your day.

As you know, there are many methods to finding Blog Red Machine on the interwebs. A common tool is that of Google, Bing or any other search engine. It’s what people actually type into that search that can provide some rather hilarious results.

In checking such search terms over the past couple of months, I have found the most interesting and bizarre searches. Some are posed as questions (similar to and others are simple, like a common one these days is “reds trade rumors” or “read free agents”. Others are, well, not so common.

The following are, shall we say, not as obvious and in a couple of cases, downright hysterical. All are legit. I don’t have the brain cells to create such. Those left me some time ago.

Here are three questions that appeared…and I attempt to actually play the fool and answer them.

1. Why doesn’t Billy Hamilton play?
I thought he did. Hamilton just wrapped up the Arizona Fall League where he was a part of the AFL Champ Peoria Javelinas. If you’re menaing why doesn’t he play for the Reds, that’s pretty simple to answer as well. Hamilton only played half a season in Double-A Pensacola. He needs a little more time, maybe no more than 50 to 60 game sin Louisville in order to be considered “ready”.

2. Why are the Reds small market?
This is one that’s no so funny, but it is. The answer is because they are. Here’s the proof.

The Reds are considered small market because if you look at all the markets that have a major league team, Cincinnati is, according to Neilsen, the smallest of these 30 markets. Time for your lesson of the day.

For this, using Neilsen is important as the number of TV households is what drives advertising rates. The more homes with a TV, the more potential of reaching people about your product; thus bringing a higher dollar for advertising. The bigger the market, the more dollars.

Yes, it almost always reverts to a discussion on money…

This last one takes the cake..

(Frank Victores-US PRESSWIRE)

3. Why is being a Cincinnati Reds fan painful?
Must be someone from San Francisco or St. Louis asking that one. Of course, if you’re one that’s on Twitter, you might say it actually is a Reds fan asking this, but I’ll opt for the former statement.

To me, it isn’t. Gets frustrating and even heart-wrenching at times, but painful? There are far greater things in life that are painful, and baseball isn’t one. Sorry to get philosophical on you.

Now that I think about it, someone probably asked this after Game 5 of the NLDS. if that was the case, it had to be a Giants fan. We got a ton of hits from that after the NLDS ended.

Plus, when you have guys like Todd Frazier and Jay Bruce to cheer for, it obviously can’t be painful.

Then there’s the odd searches…

1. Jay Bruce wedding guests
Honestly, I didn’t get an invite, not that one was expected. I don’t get why in the blue blazes you’re looking here for that info. We’re not TMZ, ya know. I know of one person attending, and he’s mentioned next.

2. Joey Votto steroids
Really? I mean, really? So anyone that performs at Votto’s consistent and marvelous level is now automatically linked into the use of PEDs? It’s not like Votto had some less than average years then suddenly stumbled into one good year and one great year before getting busted and trying to cover it up with some website scam. Sheesh…

And for the love of all that is good, how on earth did anyone ever think of the following…

3. John Fay baseball married
Again, this is legit. I am honestly not lying on this one. I laugh whenever I see, write (yes, some of us still actually use pen and paper on occasion) or even type this. Maybe those that say the internet isn’t safe are telling the truth.